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Harassment - advice and support

 

Domestic Violence is a pattern of controlling, aggressive and abusive behaviour from one adult towards another within the contexts of an intimate relationship.  This can be either a one off incident or violence on a regular basis.  Being hurt by someone you love and trust is devastating, whether you are a woman or a man.

 

Domestic Violence can affect everyone it has no boundaries, it can affect lives regardless of age, gender, class, race, disability, religion, culture or lifestyle.

 

It is difficult to know the true extent of domestic violence, due to:-

  • The hidden nature of the problem.
  • Under-reporting
  • Different understandings/definitions of domestic violence

Whether the domestic violence is psychological, financial, emotional or physical, it comes from exerting power and control over partners or family members.  All situations are different there are several common factors:

 

For example:

  • Verbal abuse, such as shouting, name calling, mocking.
  • Threatening to withhold money
  • Threatening to commit suicide
  • Taking the children away
  • Telling you that you have no choice in any decisions.
  • Keeping you from your friends or family.
  • Harassment – checking up on you, opening your mail, embarrassing you in public, unwanted texts
  • Sexual violence – using force, threats or intimidation to make you carry out sexual acts, rape jealousy
  • Physical violence – punching, slapping, hitting, biting, pinching, kicking, strangulation, broken bones, internal injuries
  • Denial – denying that any abuse is happening, blaming the victim for the abuse, crying, and begging for forgiveness and saying it will never happen again.  It will.

1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence at some point in their lives. 2 women a week are murdered by a current or former partner. Men also experience domestic violence at the hands of female and male partners; they often feel they are the only one it has ever happened to. It is often harder for men to admit to themselves or others that they have experienced abuse.

 

When does it begin?

Domestic Violence can begin at any time in a relationship and increase in both severity and frequency over a period of time.   Violence can often begin or increase at the time of pregnancy or when children are small.

 

What can you do?

Everybody has the right to live free from violence, threat or fear, and to live safely in the own home.  There are people who can help you and there are things you can do to help  yourself

 

Speak to someone you trust. Contact Women’s Aid, Women Support Services, The Domestic Violence Unit at your local Police Station, Broken Rainbow. Male Helpline 0845 064 6800

 

If you have been assaulted

  • Call the police
  • Get medical help and talk to your doctor

If you are thinking about leaving

  • Keep money for taxis, bus fares or phone calls
  • Make sure you have credit on your phone
  • Take any benefits books, passport and birth certificates – for you and your children
  • Take any medication for you/or children
  • Keep a note of all useful numbers
  • Tell someone that you trust that you are leaving.
  • Plan leaving if at all possible.
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